smelly boy?

past couple days of work have been same o same o. hmmmm, lame ass has really bad rep wif his ex wk mates. his ex boss called him smelly boy! like wtf la, what sad nickname to give someone. id rather someone called me ugly, but not smelly. and i think when he said smelly boy, he meant it as more like he plays smelly, ya know that kind of thing la.. hmmmmm.. guess my suspicions were right after all.. gotta be on my toes then. but thats life. who the fuck can u trust!? even ya own fuckin mind screws ya up. in fact, u screw yaself up the most!

hot ass asked me yest if she could ask me somethin. i told her she could ask me anythin, thats how i talk. she asked me y indians cant find jobs, esp in service industry. and it struck me as a really gd qn. service industry needs confident ppl who can talk. and indians do that bloody well. so y dun they get the chance? or why are they not takin the chance? i realised its cuz ah, bloody ppl dun seem comfy bein served by a dark skinned person. i mean i wked in the airport for 6 mths and i served like all races. and they not only were fine, they even liked me. except singaporeans. i dun get it. ya owm ppl dun seem to feel comfortable or safe around u. wtf! what bein chocolaty is a problem. when u need a wake me up, black coffee is the thing. need some feel good, chocolates the thing. wake up ppl! everythin gd and hot is darker! but noooo, ppl seem to be scareeeed of the asia-negros.. bloody fucked world. some ppl have a phobia for good lookin ppl. take it easy ok. its not ur fault. god has a sense of humour.

and the other thing is, most indians luv their face and face value soooo much that they think its a shy shy thing to do by bein a retailer etc. money is money ppl. grow up. unless u tell me u wipe ya arse wif fifties and u shit hundreds. in that case, u got issues dude. it seems there was a previous indian guy wkin there. and he got sacked. y? cuz he stole money. former steward summore. y fuck everythin up man! its like u dun think. u just dun think. thank u and fuck u.

hot ass also said that for an indian im good lookin. and that if i was fairer i would be wow. its a compliment, but i feel one kind. 1st of all, miss rai miss sen and miss chopra have proven that indians are woah. john abraham like duhhhhh... and well, bein dark and gd lookin is sooo much better than bein fair and good lookin. cuz it means that in spite of my features bein not as visible, im still hot. so right i really dun give a fuck. hot is an opinion. but thank u hot ass :)

well well well

just came back.. hmm the exam was pretty ok actually.. still fucked, but not anal kinda fucked. so i think ill survive somehow. but i sure as hell gotta buck up.

and today i and diggy were the only full timers wkin till i left for class. oh diggy is the store supervisor. hes new as well, just joined like me. so hes new in terms of 3stripes i guess. and oh yeah hes gay. hahaha. whats wif me and gay guys? i just dun get it i swear. ok hes nice and all, but somehow i get a sense that hes a little nicer to me. normal talkin and all is one thing, but ah, when he sends emails to the store team instead of titlin it as team he puts it as shant and the rest of the team. now thats weird. oh, oh, so far im like the top retailer for the store. and im actually worried bout that. i knew id be the top cuz well, i know myself and talkin cock and charmin, or rather scammin, ppl is what i do just by breathin. but when there are full timers whove been wkin yrs who r laggin behind me theres def gonna be trouble. i see it happenin aready. theres this guy whos my wkmate and he lives near me. hes really a gd wkmate and a fren at the moment, teachin me the cashier stuff and order forms etc. but ive not seen him sell that much stuff. he sells, but to my knowledge nowhere near the amt stated. i found that strange. but i cant say for certain cuz i got better things to do than stare up his ass and see what hes doin. i guess ill trust him cuz he really is good to me as a fren and collegue. but one thing. ok there was this customer i served that wanted a top that wasnt in yet. i suggested that he leave his contact and that when the stock came id contact him and stuff. so my fren recorded the stuff into the conatct book cuz i was servin another customer, later when i went to look at the book under the name of staff to contact i saw his name. i was like cheeeebyeeeee! he seemed a little tense when he saw me lookin at the book. whatever la, im still under my probation period and i dun wanna have trouble. besides like i said, he really seems like a nice dude. maybe thats how he survives. in the end we all are there to earn the moolah not like hump in the storeroom, although that would a bonus. damn diggy must be havin a hardon right bout now. :)

but i really shouldnt talk. ok background info. today i was supopsed to be on off. but my fren lame ass had to go ipoh to visit relatives. hot ass had to go for exam so shed be in late. so diggy asked me if i could come in today. i said ok. i mean do i look stupid to say nooooo i want to stay at home and fuck all u guys up, yes thats my freakin orgasm baby?! its all long term politics ppl. so anyways i went to wk. and there was 1 part timer also. so what happened was i went on my break. my breaks are 1/2 hour instead of 1h cuz wed n fri i leave at six for school. bleargh. and in that fuckin 1/2 hour, some china dude came and bought 2 pairs of top basketball shoes, costin bout 300 bucks each. guess he uses fifties to wipe his ass!! for full timers our commission is only from footwear sales. so i was like fuck my luck! butttttttt, when i went to check the commission report thingy, i saw that one shoe was put under the part-timers name and one under mine!

so this proves that im a fuckin slut. and that diggy must reallllly dig me!! yes ahhhhhhhh!!!

damnnnnnnnnnnn

well another day has gone by.. went to wk early, now thats amazin in itself! and well i had a gd day i guess, sold quite a bit so yeah my boss was happy.. and shes this fine thing who happens to be attached to her boy for 8 yrs! 8 bloody yrs!! how does one do that? i mean, gettin married and bein married for life is one thing, but to be attached, ATTACHED, for 8 yrs!? damn thats like weird! i was stunned! shouldnt there be a limit to how long u r attached b4 u either fuck up and end it or fuck up and get married? i guess some ppl just have a thing for stayin in one place. and damn my psych exams tomorrow. i havent studied jack shit. this is one screwed up sem. i really have gotta buck up. im payin hard cash for this degree and im doin the oh so common thing of fuckin it up. i mean, i worked so hard to make it this far and actually do my deg and here i am fuckin it up. damn. so typical. id rather be crazy and like stun the world than to be typical. thats so sad. and im really tryin to think up the plans to make my proposed trip to phuket work. hmm i wish ppl would like tell me a yes or a no. maybes the most screwed word around. whats with sayin maybe. i mean, ppl have to wait for ya brain to actually make up its damn shit mind? urgh, ppl and their damn fear to make a decision. no wonder the worlds fucked.

OH OH B4 I FORGET

today at wk some gurl from cleo interviewed me. and the qn was," whats ya most unique sexual experience?" well im not gonna say much, go get the next issue of cleo. it involves a tent! hahahaha. and ya the other person involved has been left speechless by my moment of permanent insanity

Well up till now

well hmmm, hows life been so far? life after army has been a unique experience i guess. i learnt so much during that time its freaky. i mean not only in the typical sense that all army fellas go through. i learnt what it means to be hurt, in every sense of the word. broken heart broken body, broken trust, broken everything.i really really realised that u really r born alone in this shit ass world. ya parents can care, ya frens may care, but in the end only u know what the hell ure goin through. and thats where the problem lies. i mean, no matter what others do or say, in the end what u feel bout yaself and what u feel inside is really all that matters. and some heal fast, some heal slow. some dun allow themselves to heal at all. theres no such thing as u can nvr heal. thats bull and if someone tells u that, bitch slap them. no matter how long it takes, as long u want to heal, u will heal. and u will grow and be stronger. sounds cheesy, but bloody hell i dun give a rats ass! hahahaha.. started wkin now. and jugglin it with my studies. not easy. but life aint easy. gettin to know more ppl these days. and learnin how some ppl cant let go. i mean if things end they end, y go on and do the whole bitchin. its so like, sad. ure makin urself seem like a lesser person. i feel ya pain gurl :) . and well im pretty messed up bout da goddess. seriously messed. cant wait to meet up soon. miss the craziness and the irritation. and yet somehow it feels nice. now thats scary!

um hi i guess

um hi i think.. i dunno, just felt like writin shit on the web. everyon does it so y not someone whos like a full time shit talker. :) i guess ill start writin later on la. now i wanna find nice skins and stuff...... lalalala