IM BACK

well my com crashed.. it died.. just died.. hence the so called absense.. talked to my mum and told her its time to change the com. she immediately said it all my fault. like huh? what the flyin fuck!? i was the one always fixin the damn thing whenever it died on us.. i couldnt take it and i told her off. cuz i found out the reason the com was so fucked was cuz the old mans email had shitloads of viruses. damn these ppl.. its like i get tossed wif every shit thing that goes wrong in this house cuz im the only one around to handle these 2. jr decided to get his ass outta here some time ago and it doesnt look like he's got any interest in comin back. i tell you, when i just pack my stuff and disappear one day then these ppl will know. even if they dun seem to be affected, i dun give a flyin fuck anymore. i dunno how i can be so nice on the outside and all, yet inside i know im outta here asap. guess life fucked me and i fucked life.

past few days of wk have been pretty ok.. same o same o.. we went to newton circus yest to eat our hearts out. and i did my very best to fulfill that. damn the food was awesome. helped take my mind off the fact that singaporeans can be so fucked its unbelievable. i served this one chick for like fuckin 30 mins plus. she and her fuckin micros and her cheebye face. tryin on tons of stuff etc. and when she finally decided on what she wanted, she asked if we could give discount. when i told we couldnt at this outlet she just left. left! she took her fucked face fucked frens fucked life and just left. that i can forgive. but to not say a word, a flyin fuck word, of sorry or thanks!? i mean, ppl can be such arsewipes its unbelievable!

my ex viewed me on frendster. hmm ok. i didnt realise it was her, till i clicked the pic. she looked, weird haggard. she didnt look anythin like the gurl that i thought was my everythin. guess maybe ive got different eyes now. eyes that cried and washed all the shit away. i didnt feel the hold that i had b4. rather i felt the irritation. irritation that the pain and breakin down of everythin in me has made me so, hard inside. well im different from then so its all good i guess. and i told the goddess that i clicked and saw her, she viewed me etc. she wasnt happy. and its my fault cuz apparently i clicked. i shouldnt have clicked. haiz, im not bothered to explain or what not la ah. the fact that i even told when i could be a guy and not tell is sayin more than enough.

well i hope things get better in general life wise.. cant wait for phuket, gettin my tatts done, eat eat eat. feelin kinda down dunno y.

p.s. i read jan's blog. bout how sri met and talked to me for jans sake. i really appreciate that. i mean she really didnt have a need to do so but for the fact that jan wanted her to. so yeah its appreciated. on the other hand, i still believe that ppl should know me or give me a chance cuz they want to. not cuz anyone else matters. guess thats y im the guy ppl will always be wary of. jans really wonderful. but when i read it, the one thing that hit me, was that i dun have the persona that makes ppl trust or think that 'hey heres a guy worth knowin or givin a chance'. fair nuff, cuz singapores full of closet whores.